I wasn’t sure what to expect when I turned 30. Was I going to suddenly turn ever-so-more grey? Or was my life suddenly going to change? Or evolve? Or maybe I’d crumble and have a mini break down for thinking and worrying of what ‘that’ day would involve? I planned three events just to make sure I was suitably distracted when ‘that’ day was approaching, and if anything was to go wrong I’d drink for England and remember my 21st (which I seem to remembered involved tattoos, boys, bars and poi).
What actually happened was an amazing show of love from my friends and family. Ten of my friends had clubbed together and bought me an iPad (ekk!!) which fulfilled one of my goals, to be more productive on my packed train commute. Overwhelmed doesn’t cover it, not so such much for The Pad of which I am madly in love. But for the way they organised themselves to buy one gift, a gift which I intend to use on a regular basis during my exploration of social media. My parents had bought me a diamond necklace, something so beautiful it can only be used on special occasions, something I hope to treasure for the rest of my days. My boyfriend, knowing I loved the Olympics, had bought me a silver minted coin to keep and remember this ospicious year (London2012/Jubilee/our first holiday together/my 30th). And then were gifts I wasn’t expecting, gifts from people who had thought of me, gifts that made me smile and coo like it was Christmas. That love was overwhelming and pouring out of every card, I felt blessed, I remembered who I was because all these people cared.
My 20s were hard work, finishing my degree, finding a first job, and then a first career job. My brother was sick, then I was sick, and our family unit and my dear friends is what held me together. It feels like my 20s are defined by sickness and recovery, and sometimes that makes me feel so sad what I’ve missed out and what I can not achieve now. I’ve been so lost at points, I’ve been aimless and goalless because I didn’t know what I could achieve.
It turns out my friends and family gave me the best gift for my 30th, the gift of hope. Hope that my 30s will be healthy, hope my life can move forwards now, hope that maybe I am confident now to aim a little higher, hope that if I dare to dream I may be able achieve again. I was delighted to have turned 30.
Whatever my future holds, I’m walking into this decade knowing who I am. And I know who I am because of my friends and family, they are my guiding stars. They are my rock and my true north.
Oh dear, I can feel a life goal list coming on…